Friday, February 3, 2017

BREAKING NEWS: Trump Retires from Office

In what is being called “an extraordinary act of patriotism matched only by that of George Washington,” Donald Trump announced today his retirement from the office of President. He tweeted this afternoon:

Friends and Fellow Citizens,

I am persuaded that, in the present circumstances of our country, you will not disapprove my determination to retire.

I will only say that I have contributed towards the administration of the government the best exertions of which a very fallible judgment was capable.  Not unconscious in the outset of the inferiority of my qualifications, experience in my own eyes, perhaps still more in the eyes of others, admonishes me more and more that the shade of retirement is as necessary to me as it will be welcome.

Donald Trump

Don’t you wish it was true.

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